Wednesday, November 29, 2017

The Scouring Sands of Skourenthe, Session 2: A Truck Named Bitchin

The session began with Goblini, Brutal Pete, Pitwin, Chris, and The Deud dropping out of FLAILSNAIL space within The Slippery Spot. The party noticed some new faces lounging around and figured out they were Glory Riders. Goblini recruited a rider named Slapp for his mechanical skills for a generous payment of 10 gold.

The party hiked their way back to the decrepit tower of Kazak where they found the gap left by Magic Meryl's Floating Disc spell still intact. Without hesitation Goblini sent a squad of 4 goblins through the gap, but they triggered a tripwire and released a pitfall of shit, piss, splintered bronze armor, and quartered and decapitated corpses. 2 goblins perished and the survivors smelled something awful.

Pressing on, the party found themselves in the dining hall were Chris P's character spied on 3 of the ominous hogmen feasting on the half-charred, half-rotten carcass of the gorilla-bear. They were quickly dispatched after Goblini's goblins sprang to action with a volley of gunfire as the rest of the party engaged. The hogmen's possessions totaled 120sp and was hidden among their shit-glued strands of hair.

The party made their way to the ramp which lead to The Underground and discovered it had been re-greased. They burned it away and descended into the darkness were they found a gross pile of refuse, corpses, and bile. The party traded gear and banter as they decided wether to take the worked stone hallway to the east or the snaking tunnel to the west. But as they talked 5 of the corpses rose from the refuse and came at them! However, due to Brutal Pete's dwarfiness he was able to scare the necromantic energies out of them with a bang of his implements!

Shortly after the zombies fell a hulking humanoid figure approached from the east hallway. The party hid and discovered the humanoid was a human man with a huge gut that stood well over six feet tall! He wore nothing more than an executioner's hood and a black loincloth. "Hurr hurr hurr!" the figure said to himself as he walked back the way he came. The Deud introduced him as Slutman, a "fucking idiot" that kept an eye on Kazak's workshop. And no you don't want to know how he got that name! Chris P's character decided to befriend Slutman and he responded to his friendship with a "hurr hurr hurr!" and a childish gaze. Chis P asked Slutman to show them where the workshop was and he replied with a "hurr hurr hurr". Realizing speech was getting him nowhere fast, Chris P placed a tool he happened to have in Slutman's hand and asked him to put it back were it belonged. Slutman replied with a "hurr hurr hurr" retrieving a ring of keys from his loincloth and presumably lead the way.

The Slutman

The party's faith in Slutman was rewarded! He had lead them to a WE hallway stretching 90 feet with 5 solid iron doors with eyeslats on them—presumably Kazak's workshop. In the first cell the party found a bloody operating table with corpses and chunks of meat hanging from hooks and chains. In the second they discovered a black desk which held a strange chinstrap device that had a circular plate that looked as if something could be screwed into it. They also discovered a display case that held 7 jars of formaldehyde, each of which possessed a big good-looking cock. The party swiped it all before moving on to the next cell.

The third cell lead to a large room which contained a 1953 Ford F 100. The paint had long been blasted away and was covered in splotches of rust. But the suspension had been raised as far as it could go and the tires appeared suitable for desert travel. On each car door the word BITCHIN was written in droopy red spray paint. Alas the keys were nowhere to be found and, worse yet, the steering wheel was missing! Goblini ordered Slapp to get to work at fixing these issues but Slapp felt another payment of 10g was in order for dragging him all the way out here. Generous Goblini complied. Unfortunately Slapp was only able to get the car running and couldn't jigger up a steering wheel. Fortunately Brutal Pete has a knack for these kinds of things and was able to jigger up a steering wheel. But before hitting the UP button out of here, the party decided to find where Kazak kept all his shit.

Bitchin looks something like this

Chris P reminded Slutman of the tool he gave him and the buffoon ran off down the hallway, passed the fourth cell, and opened the fifth cell where the party found an ornate chest with finely made high quality BDSM gear—whips, chains, masks, the works! As the party collected the BDSM gear and searched the room some more, they head a plopping sound from behind them and noticed some ectoplasmic foot prints that weren't there before. They paid no heed and continued their search until a decrepit looking humanoid wearing worn chainmail with eyes of sparkling red accosted them! Upon engaging the party discovered 9 more of the creatures pouring out of the fourth cell, with a feminine one holding open the cell, pointing and laughing and screaming "DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!"

At this time, The Deud revealed a spear from his robes ad pointed it at Pitwin, saying "Now I've got you!" before Pitwin knocked him out with a sleep spell. Meanwhile Goblini pulled out a strange artifact and, channeling all of its power, dispelled the necromantic spell that gave the vile monstrosities life.

Feeling the call of FLAILSNAIL space approaching, the party grabbed their truck and warped out back to Vyzor.

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