Goblini and company quickly befriended the wretches by cooking a stew and purifying their spoiled food. They learned from Kurkl, seemingly the only decently healthy human in town and owner of The Slippery Spot tavern, that Slag has been accosted by Hogmen allied with the evil sorcerers Kazak and Mel residing in the two towers to the east. Goblini learned that the hogmen raid the town in a bitchin' truck and decided to free the wretches of their oppressors. The wretches celebrated their new saviors by throwing a party with billybean beer and a whole lot of drugs.
The next day the PCs set out east and found themselves at the entrance to a decrepit looking tower covered in graffiti. An iron door speckled with sharp spikes, from which a multitude of guts and bits hung from, welcomed them. Magic Meryl used her non-Tenser's Floating Disc to dislodge the door from below, squishing it like an accordion and Goblini sent in his goblins.
Unfortunately the Goblins triggered a false ceiling trap and Spooky, His Excellence, and AGURHAGA were crushed to death. That's when the Gorilla-Bear burst through the north door—and yes a Gorilla-Bear is exactly what it sounds like.
|Yup...That's a Gorilla-Bear|
The next room proved to be a dining hall with a long wooden table and several once regal tapestries that were now graffiti'd with tits, dicks, and black speech. Sat at the table, deep in his cups was the hairy ogre named Mung that was sick of all the killing Kazak made him do. The PCs quickly befriended Mung and learned from him that the hogmen kept their truck in "The Underground." Upon asking where that was Mung pointed to a door which hid an alcove.
Inside the alcove was a defaced and grafitti'd bust sat on a podium above a shag carpet. Mung said the entrance to the underground was below that. Goblini put his goblins to work and they unfortunately triggered a puke gas trap, which caused all the goblins to convulse and spew their dinner all over the place. Sapphean, sensing opportunity, quickly jumped in and sucked up a good whiff of the puke gas to absorb it's magical properties. The only problem was now everyone was puking and convulsing all over the place; the PCs decided to take a break.
Despite all this commotion, the supposed hogmen did not accost them during the PCs' hour break Funny that. Meanwhile Goblini had discovered a silver ring embossed with a black skull that turned out to be a Ring of Undead Control hidden inside the bust.
Upon returning to the entrance, the PCs discovered that the shag carpet had mysteriously disappeared. Mung gladly ripped off the locked trapdoor to the underground, revealing a greasy ramp that disappeared into darkness. Goblini lit the grease on fire and sent down a goblin scout. The scout found a lot of trash, corpses, and skeletons, and was more than happy to get the heck out of there.
Deciding to leave The Underground alone for now, the PCs pressed on and discovered a room that looked like someone's personal quarters, equipped with a large bed, a writing desk, and a chest. Meryl opened the chest to discover a nearly-naked green-mustached gnome sleeping inside. He was rather upset. The PCs bullied the gnome into forking over his loot and he gladly obliged. Samuel the Goblin retrieved the gnome's coin hidden under the false bottom of the chest but not before his hands were sliced off by a whirling blade trap and died of the subsequent blood loss. The gnome, who would later introduce himself as "The Deud", laughed and twirled his mustache.
Before FLAILSNAIL space kicked in the PCs threw The Deud into his chest and kidnapped him to parts unknown.